WOO.

I just tested out of my business class. It was a class for basic Microsoft Office skills. I started learning Access two days before the test. I'd never touched or seen Access 2007 before; I'd tinkered with Access 97 at age eleven. In fact, I'd never touched or seen Access 2007 until I actually started taking the test. And yet I passed it. The only bits that the teacher corrected me on were formatting things. Like the spacing of a business letter.

I feel awesome.

This means I have eighteen hours this semester but am only carrying twelve. (Three for Speech/Communications, my short course, in which I made an A. Three for BUS253.) Maybe this won't be so bad, huh?

I'm working on the getting a job thing. Might even get this settled today, if I'm lucky. I'm hoping so. The trouble is over how I will get paid. I don't think I have access to a bank account that is both A) not accessible to my parents and B) capable of being used for direct deposit by Freed-Hardeman, because I'm a minor. I could get one, I am told, if I went to BoA in Jackson. But if they can just give me paper checks, it will be easier...

I've decided to leave my Nintendo 64 and its games in the lobby of my dorm for the duration of the semester. I took it down there to play with a friend before the semester started and left it for other people to play, and now every time I come down to the lobby I see a different group of people I don't know playing it. Even boys come over to our lobby to play. It is awesome. And I want to be a part of it, after I get all this stuff straightened out.

Still need to find out the balance on my MacBook and iPod, but the IT lady is sick. I'll ask next week...

...I feel pretty good. I'll feel better if I get this job worked out.

Also...have some gratuitous music recommendations from me. In the form of a shameless Amazon widget. *points to right-hand side of page*

Ad time?

So I just learned how to put ads on my page. I'm going to limit them to things that I actually like and would want to buy, so hopefully they won't be too annoying. I just think I might be able to get a little bit of money. It can go towards my meager college fund. :] They'll show up whenever I get approved.

I know I've been gone for a while.

Posted on Xanga

Sorry. A lot of things have been happening, and also I'm lazy and was absorbed in doing other things, like grabbing desktop wallpapers, making my N64 emulator work, getting Wine running so I can run Windows apps semi-natively on my MacBook, waiting through Winter Break, and trying to help a friend of mine who's in a bad situation. I would tell you more about said friend, but if I did it might endanger him further, so I won't. Suffice it to say he's going to end up isolated for a very long time, and I'm afraid he'll end up suicidal like I was, and I want to find some way for him to contact the outside world. But it's damn hard.

I think I've largely recovered from my depression, and the recovery has lasted a few months, so I trust it more than the last time. I'm beginning to realize that I don't actually know my true potential for happiness. And I'm beginning to realize that I can indeed have a purpose in life. I want to fight for kids who are stuck like my friend and I are. I want to help get my friend to a counselor without giving things away to the people who are doing this to him, and I think it's doable, but I'll have to let him know first so that he won't think I betrayed him, because I'm the only one he really trusts right now and if that trust breaks he'll be in a lot worse of a situation than he is right now. And I want to fight for LGBT kids stuck in similar situations. I know how it is.

I have purpose. I've never had purpose like this before. I ended up crying about it yesterday because I got worked up about it, xD. Furthermore my boyfriend is coming to visit me in a week and a day, which is extremely exciting, because it'll probably be the happiest I've ever been in my life. And something else wonderful happened too. I just need to fill out my college apps, get organized, and start deciding what to take with me and what to leave behind. Then I'll be just fine. I feel strong. I feel alive. I'm still unsure about some things. But because I have friends who have faith in me I'll last until I can have my own confidence. Already have some.

I would not wish my past on anyone, but I wouldn't take it back for the world.