Ad time?

So I just learned how to put ads on my page. I'm going to limit them to things that I actually like and would want to buy, so hopefully they won't be too annoying. I just think I might be able to get a little bit of money. It can go towards my meager college fund. :] They'll show up whenever I get approved.

I know I've been gone for a while.

Posted on Xanga

Sorry. A lot of things have been happening, and also I'm lazy and was absorbed in doing other things, like grabbing desktop wallpapers, making my N64 emulator work, getting Wine running so I can run Windows apps semi-natively on my MacBook, waiting through Winter Break, and trying to help a friend of mine who's in a bad situation. I would tell you more about said friend, but if I did it might endanger him further, so I won't. Suffice it to say he's going to end up isolated for a very long time, and I'm afraid he'll end up suicidal like I was, and I want to find some way for him to contact the outside world. But it's damn hard.

I think I've largely recovered from my depression, and the recovery has lasted a few months, so I trust it more than the last time. I'm beginning to realize that I don't actually know my true potential for happiness. And I'm beginning to realize that I can indeed have a purpose in life. I want to fight for kids who are stuck like my friend and I are. I want to help get my friend to a counselor without giving things away to the people who are doing this to him, and I think it's doable, but I'll have to let him know first so that he won't think I betrayed him, because I'm the only one he really trusts right now and if that trust breaks he'll be in a lot worse of a situation than he is right now. And I want to fight for LGBT kids stuck in similar situations. I know how it is.

I have purpose. I've never had purpose like this before. I ended up crying about it yesterday because I got worked up about it, xD. Furthermore my boyfriend is coming to visit me in a week and a day, which is extremely exciting, because it'll probably be the happiest I've ever been in my life. And something else wonderful happened too. I just need to fill out my college apps, get organized, and start deciding what to take with me and what to leave behind. Then I'll be just fine. I feel strong. I feel alive. I'm still unsure about some things. But because I have friends who have faith in me I'll last until I can have my own confidence. Already have some.

I would not wish my past on anyone, but I wouldn't take it back for the world.

So I'm making this blog because I have friends on here, I believe.

My primary blog is on Xanga, but I intend to copy Xanga posts to here. New ones, that is. The old ones will remain, but feel free to view them.

At any rate, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Melissa. I'm young and stubborn and weird as all hell, and I like it. Just got out of six months of clinical depression and I'm feeling a lot better. Life is okay. I'm trying my utmost to transfer out of this church of Christ school that my parents made me go to. Hopefully I can transfer next semester. I need to get working on that...